A friend woke me up for breakfast this morning, ripping me from a riveting dream about transferring to a different school… an Ivy League school of sorts. Although I could make many implications about me dreaming about Ivy League schools (such as “what does that really mean, Bryan?”), what I was unable to shake, even when I was sitting in Barnhart Dining center with a freshly baked waffle staring at me, was the whole mood of the dream. Perhaps it had something to do with the light diffusion effect that comes with the day when the sun is sitting behind a cloud, maybe it’s because I wasn’t fully awake, or maybe I’m crazy, but the feeling of the dream has as of yet failed to escape me. I’m not sure that my prescription coffee has as of yet succeeded from waking me.
My point is that all of today, everything, wonderful or terrible, that has happened to me ever feels like it can be ripped away with one sweeping motion of an invisible, undefinable, yet all-powerful hand. I don’t know where this allusion, physical in nature, points. Perhaps this is a subconscious reference to the fear of graduation or post graduation life, or perhaps this is a fear of financial instability. Whatever it is referring too, all I know is the looming feeling of inevitability seemingly breathed upon me.
What a weird day.