I don’t know if anyone who reads this already knew this or not, but I’ve been struggling to pull myself out of a rut that I’d fallen into late last year. I don’t know how to describe it; complacency, apathy, whatever… but I’m really having trouble doing it. It’s really been a one-step-at-a-time process, mostly involving focusing on typical day-to-day activities such as studying, cooking for myself, and keeping productive, all while looking for whatever that one thing I lost was.
It’s hard looking for something when you don’t really know what it is that you’re looking for. Maybe it’s passion. Maybe it’s motivation. Perhaps some bastardized combination of both. Who knows.
All I know is that it’s been extremely hard to motivate myself to do things that I want to do, and that engaging in those activities has resulted in nothing short of frustration. It’s something I’m working past, and it’s something that’s gotten easier as time goes by.
But it’s still there.