Whispers and Shadows

One of the things I love about PR is that practitioners are taught early on that transparency is next to godliness (as opposed to cleanliness).  Hiding things, even things seemingly harmful to a client, is taboo. Even though the rational isn’t rooted in ideology, it provokes an ideological trait  I think is worth discussing.

Reading through some of my old blog entries (pre “Bryan’s Sophia”), I feel there was a lot of room for ambiguity. I was, and still kind of am, afraid to define specifics as exemplified by ambiguous pronouns and situations that can be universally applied. Some of my friends privy to my older blogs have claimed that while there is a lot of ambiguity in my writing, the ambiguity gives my writing universal application. This would all be fine… if my posts hadn’t been meant for personal reflection.

I feel that some parts of me are completely transparent, but I also feel that some parts are needlessly ambiguous or opaque. Obviously, nobody should be 100% transparent. Everyone has, and probably should have, their secrets, but I think I would benefit more from being a little more willing to share with people. I know where my unwillingness to share comes from (insecurities, obviously), but without putting myself “out there”, am I not missing an excellent opportunity for personal growth?

We’ll never get that day back

Lately, I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with some of my friends from last year. Everyone I’ve had the opportunity to speak with again has had no problem picking up where we left off. They’re an amazing group. There is no complaints about how we haven’t been seeing each other; there’s only a mutual understanding that we live busy lives and a desire to reconnect whenever we have the opportunity.

I wish I could have been this understanding with my friends a few years ago. I used to be the friend that got upset when people wouldn’t speak to me on a regular basis. I burned many bridges because of my inability to understand that my friends and I have separate lives outside of each other.

Many of those people were friends I had back in high school. When it was time for us to make the transition to college, I automatically, and foolishly, assumed that we could all maintain the same level of friendship that we were accustomed to. This was perhaps compounded by the fact that I was taking a break between HS and College. It seems obvious now that we couldn’t keep what we had before; our environments, our expectations, our experiences were rapidly changing. What’s more, we were experiencing those changes independent from each other.

I got what was perhaps the most explicit reality check when I came home from college my freshman year. I had a group of friends, through my church, that I had made while taking a year off of school. They all went to college in town so it was easy to visit all of them. Visiting them made me realize that we would never get back those old experiences that we thought we would. Late night runs to the convenience store, lighting off firecrackers in the middle of the night a mile outside the city, pulling pranks on old co-workers, late night jam sessions… those things were affected by externalities that didn’t exist only three months before. People got married, engaged, had kids, spent more time with family, had different circles of friends.

That experience taught me to cherish the moments we have with our friends because we never get those moments back.

So when my friend, who I haven’t seen in a while, asked me to go to the bar with her in order to relive some of the good times we had, I was completely comfortable. I knew that we both knew (confusing, I know) that we were not going to have the same experience that we had before as much as we desired. What makes me comfortable with doing that is I feel we’ll both strive to take something new out of that night.

I don’t think I could have done that a few years ago.

True Story

Once upon a time.. there was a boy who was in this third year of college. He wasn’t stupid, but he wasn’t exactly what you would call smart, either. One fine Sunday, he decided he would dedicate the day to studying. So, he woke up at 12:00 after getting only 7 hours of sleep and remaining in a sleep deficit for the whole day. He decided to remedy this by drinking *2* cups of coffee, which caused him to become an unfocused, caffeine overdosed, sleep-deprived person who couldn’t concentrate on anything.. not even facebook, despite having done the same thing time and time again in his two previous years of school. THE END!

*frustration!*

Finally know what it feels like to be a starving college student

Don’t ask me why I’m not at home right now eating. I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

It’s 5:46 after my last class. I haven’t had a real meal all day. However, I also haven’t stood up from this computer in the library, walked my lazy butt home, and made myself dinner. Nobody’s fault but mine.

And yes, that’s the only important thing I could think of to blog about.